Picture it; you are at a work gathering or invited to a party with people you don’t know well; someone walks up to you and strikes up a casual conversation. You introduce yourself and exchange niceties. Then what? If you are an introvert like me, it’s not so easy to keep the conversation going. My mind goes blank, my palms begin to sweat, and I start looking for the nearest exit!
Why is it that some people seem to have an endless supply of things to say while others, like me, can barely maintain a conversation for two sentences?
Believe it or not, you have more to say than you think. And even if you don’t, you can use some simple strategies to become adept at getting others to speak.
Here are a few strategies to keep the conversation going:
1. Have a few good stories ready to go. Be prepared with a few interesting stories; you can even rehearse them in your mind. It could be something that happened to you recently, in your childhood, or even something that you read about in the news.
2. Just let it out and be yourself. Turn off your filter. Now I don’t mean you should be crude or anything, but few things are more boring than someone who is too proper or politically correct. You simply come off as bland. Let your individuality shine through by politely speaking your mind.
3. Be a good listener. People love to have conversations with those that are truly listening and paying attention. Instead of constantly thinking about what you will say next, give your partner your complete and undivided attention. Maintain good eye contact and stay focused. You’ll be amazed by how much this helps your conversational skills.
4. Ask open-ended questions. Avoid asking questions that can be answered with just a word or two. This will help to keep the conversation from constantly stalling. Here are some examples:
● Don’t ask: What do you like on your pizza? Ask: What do you like about camping?
● Don’t ask: What is your favorite sports team? Ask: If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?
● Don’t ask: Where were you born? Ask: What is your best childhood memory?
These types of open-ended questions will keep your partner talking and help you to know what to say next.
5. Look to your environment for ideas. Your immediate environment can offer plenty of conversation topics. Here are some examples:
● The weather
● The people around you
● The artwork on the walls
● The music
● The food
● Anything you can see, hear, smell, taste, or touch
6. Practice. Practice makes perfect. You can’t become good at anything without practice. Fortunately, there are people all around you to help. It may seem scary, but strike up at least one conversation each day. Practice with those you know and also with strangers.
7. Relax. View each conversation as a pleasant diversion. Don’t think of your interactions with others as a competition. You don’t have to impress anyone or achieve any particular milestone to feel good about the exchange. We all like to be around relaxed, confident people.
Good conversation skills can significantly enhance your social life, career, and relationships. Like it or not, it is a valuable skill to have. Even if you’re not a naturally chatty person like me, you can learn how to keep the conversation going.
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